Vang Vieng is known by all as just a party town and honestly it doesn’t have much else going for it besides a few outdoor activities and some extreme pancake vendors (think Banana Chocolate pancake with Milo, coconut and condensed milk) on the streets. They work until the wee hours for retiring revelers, but unfortunately not for breakfast when we needed them. After fighting with ATMs and finding a sandwich to replace the missing pancakes we headed out on our morning tour of some caves in the area. I was hoping for some serious spelunking, V not so much 🙂

Our guide was very good (Green Discovery again) and led us around a grotto/temple (Elephant Cave) and two other caves in the vicinity – about 100m and 400m deep. We saw beautiful sparkling stalactites in the large caverns. The caves were good but I was really, hoping for a little more ‘adventure’. The last cave on the morning long tour was the ‘Water cave’ that required floating inside on a tube through a tiny gap and up an underground river. Ditching the tubes we leopard crawled through narrow gaps and waded up to our waists while dodging overhanging formations. The cave did not run very far – maybe 100m – but it was a lot of muddy fun. Even V enjoyed it after overcoming her initial fears. We could really have done the caves ourselves if we had the time to find them but it would have probably resulted in me going too far and getting into trouble!

Back in town our friends were waiting for us to go tubing down the river. This is what Vang Vieng is about and what we came to gawk at. It’s a simple recipe (for disaster). You rent a tube in town, catch a tak-tak for 3km upriver and jump in. Along the river are dozens of bars well stocked with free buckets of booze and an alarming variety of drugs (all illegal). Each bar also has some kind of swing, zipline or slide to launch you back into the river. Most seem to just copy one swing style – if V and I worked here they would have far more interesting designs. Obviously the aim is to get as drunk as possible while tubing from one bar with it’s blaring music and assorted activities to the next. The combination of water, booze and big swings is a good enough reason for the waiver we had to sign before taking a tube and explains why idiots die here every year (apparently). Think of it as a functional ‘Gene Pool Control System’.

Our friends had run the gauntlet a couple of times already so it was easy for us to find the cool swings and slides. We immediately skipped the first couple of bars – they were packed with drunk kids and only offered dismal slides as attractions. The next stop had an impressive swing. I was like a kid in a candy store. Releasing at the highpoint gave you an estimated 8m drop to the rushing water. It was brilliant fun. Nick and I kept going back for more. The rickety platform that you swing from is possibly more dangerous than the swing itself – it felt like it could collapse at any moment. Christian (nursing a radio-active sunburn) and Jessica abstained having done it before and no amount of heckling could get V on a swing. As the drunken hoard started piling into our spot we opted to stay ahead of the wave.

As you go down the river the swings get bigger but we were continuously being caught by progressively more intoxicated crowds, so after Nick had his chest spray painted with an obscene slogan we decided to skip on down to one of the last bars. This one had a huge slide, zipline and the biggest swing yet – maybe over 10m to the water if you release at the highpoint. After a fruit shake with our friends I had a go at the zipline, swing and slide. The swing was awesome, the zipline dull and my technique on the slide left a lot to be desired – barely plopping of the end. Jessica and Christian perfected the slide, launching well into the river with all the style of Canadians on ice. All just too much fun. With the weather turning overcast we headed downstream and back to town. Around 30 minutes of floating through peaceful and stunning karst topography got us to a good exit point that Jessica and Christian had discovered (they had been hassled by locals on a previous excursion). A hectic and fantastic day, but not quite over !

We all met up for dinner at a quaint little grill spot. Vang Vieng has no shortage of western style restaurants and the one we chose wasn’t bad. Braaied kebabs – can’t really go wrong with that. Our next stop was one of the many bars. Nick got accosted into accepting a ‘Beer Bong’ – free if he could finish it in one go. He wasn’t at all phased by the proposition and set a about preparing the bong while explaining his intricate technique – it was almost a science lesson – hilarious 🙂 It was down his gullet in less than 4 seconds. All were impressed. Seems they have a lot of spare time in Belgium. Being the last night in VV, Nick decided to enjoy it. Even with more beer in him than the rest of us combined he stated “I can still do calculus. Come on… Give me something” – and I have no doubt he still could ! We left him to live it up while the rest of us headed for our pillows.

[Pictures: Busy day. Red bull required. It’s imported from Thailand and manufactured by a pharmaceutical company ! Not silly enough to take my phone on the water so you’ll have to wait for the photo uploads]

– Posted from my iPhone via Wifi